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July 30, 2015 Advice 0 comments

Follow Up Messages

So it’s been popping up more and more of readers asking me questions that revolve around “I sent a message and got no response. Is it a no?” 8 out of 10 times, I see it as disrespectful to you, but ONLY if you typed up a great message that wasn’t clingy or obscene and/or crazy. 2 out of 10 times, the pursuit of yours could have genuinely been busy and missed your message in the sea of people being thirsty.

However, there has been advice columns giving out “tips” saying that women are perfectly fine ignoring people’s messages. I like to treat internet communication like in-person, face-to-face convos, so if it’s not something you can do in person, don’t do it online. It’s always comes back to you. Always. This goes for both men and women! If you’re a guy and you’re coming out of pocket, talking about “you like big dick?” off the bat, you need to kill yourself. If you’re a woman who gets a message from a guy that’s super respectful and you’re not interested, nothing wrong with just saying that. Fun fact: before I became the muscle bound gent I currently am, I was told that I was frail and stammered, or that I would speak too quietly. For a few years, I would try my pursuits, but no one wanted to speak up and I would just strike out, over and over and over again. It wasn’t until one particular woman I encountered spoke up respectfully and told me that “I didn’t seem confident; I didn’t seem like someone that could protect her if there was danger, and that she found it annoying that I’d have to repeat my words all the time.” All of this made sense. I didn’t take it as an attack, so you know what I did? I studied health and fitness. Not just for what she mentioned, but for me especially. The more I would work out, the more I gained confidence of self and mind. I then went and studied linguistics and communication. They say one of the most powerful tools in the history of man is the tongue, for those without the power of the tongue are the ones who fall by the wayside to the ones that do. The better and better I got in those aspects, I realized that I shouldn’t be intimidated, as now, I’m even the one doing the intimidation (though it’s not something I do on purpose at all). I learned a great deal all because of a woman who was bold enough to speak up. More than likely these women who are ignoring people are also getting ignored in their real life pursuits, so I’d say it’s best to just be bold and truthful. Of course, it should always be in a respectful manner; never forget that! If someone will take the time to disrespect you, then you should take it as a man, and go and do better instead of them. After all, it’s really going to be their loss, and not yours.

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Hi, I am Adam photographer based in NY City. I am fortunate to be able to spend a good amount of time on personal projects, traveling and collaborating with great people.

       

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